another moral hangover. fuck.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
