I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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