After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
