I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
