Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Less talking, more tequila
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
