clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
