youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
