Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
