he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
