So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
