The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize