what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
