im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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