Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
