i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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