The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She tied me up with her honor cords...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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