So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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