im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
