I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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