Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize