What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
