pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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