If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The feeling are messing with the penis
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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