.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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