Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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