We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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