I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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