I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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