The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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