cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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