why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
