I can tuck mytits in my pants
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
