That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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