its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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