I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
