Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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