Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
