i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
