weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
