the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
