I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
