I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
