you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
