i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
they need to just BURY HIM!
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize