I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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