so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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