You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm both gender and math confused
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize