All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
