I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
