i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
