If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
