When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Sober January is a disaster.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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