I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
