good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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