literally had 100 drinks last night.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
