So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
