Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
