forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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