but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
