i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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