He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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