If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
