remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
