I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize