hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize