Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
