there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i out mim tonsoeep
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