I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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