I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
