No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
