Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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