I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
