Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
