so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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