he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
