u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I need to calm my uterus...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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